The Me Before

Every child has his or her own story on how they matured, learned life's lessons, and got to know the hardships of growing up. There are the "easy ways" and the "hard ways". I myself would honestly say that i tracked down the "hard way" of growing up. Your brains and your talents count as nothing when people try to label you as the imperfectly molded person in terms of physique and beauty. It is still vaguely clear in my mind the times when they pull you down and let you feel your worthlessness. Those cruel words that sounded like as a joke to them but never did they know that it had already placed a big impact to you and pierced your heart a million times. The feeling that people consider that you don't exist in the world that both of you place your roles in. Yeah, it was hard and I'm still carrying the after effects of it.

It got worse when i turned highschool. Compared to my elementary years, only my classmates made me feel sad and lonely but during highschool, the teachers not only ignored me but also criticized my well being verbally. My confidence dropped to a negative, my courage turned icy cold in a freezing environment that i considered "The Dark Age". But, humans as we are, we cope. I tried to mask a happy persona while in fact what i was feeling was the complete opposite of it. Then one day, I decided to change myself and salvage what was left pure in me. I tried a lot of ways! Inch by inch, I cracked the shell that was covering my total self. Inch by inch, I crawled out, greeted the new beginning of my world and proudly said, "I did it."

 

Now, I'm already 19 years old and currently finishing my degree in College. I can say that I changed a lot compared to what I was 8 years ago. I changed for the better and not for the worse. I'm happy as to what i have attained right now and was happy that i made the right decision to step a foot forward. But whenever someone destroys the fragile equilibrium that i constantly hold, I turn to someone whom my acquaintances knew too well, the ME before.

My Piano and I

My mother and all my aunts and all their friends used to play the piano. Nobody was brilliant at it; but they all did it. Many (but not all) girls of my generation learned to play too. I was so possessive of our piano that I carved my name into the back of it. Teaching girls to play the piano is less common now, not such a matter of routine. Times have changed.


But then, with your hands and feet you gradually got control of this big apparatus, and when it did your will, you could make it sing. Then it would express your feelings. Playing my piano gave me not only some power, but some voice. Power and voice were hard for girls to come by, and so the piano was a most treasured thing. If you had a piano to play and a horse to ride, you were almost complete.


Pianos have always attracted and fascinated me, and I have come to associate them with women and diaries and emotion, with power and sexuality. The diary was the safe private place in which women of last century could express their feelings and thoughts in words; the piano was private and subversive, yet at the same time it was safely public. Your audience pays attention as you tease the tunes from the strings. The strings are struck by hammers which get their signal from the keys which are struck by you. The glorious power in the fingers! (And imagine that clever aunt who could do it without fingers, too.)


The piano is made from beautiful wood, carved, with brass or silver candlesticks; it might have red silk behind fretwork; it might have images of flowers or birds inlaid in the surface of the case. It is a sweet, romantic, beloved thing. Like a big smile, the keys lie before you, silent, waiting for you to strike. The picture of a girl at her piano is a charming picture -- the girl is safe behind closed doors, attached to the furniture, making pretty sounds. She feels good because she has the power to make music; her guardians feel good because she seems, while charming them, to be still within their control. A girl who practices the piano is like a fairy with her powerful, mighty and yet magically charming wand, waiting to entice the audience with her powers and charm.

The Piano Lurched

Contact was sharp…

I jolted from immediacy of senses torn from mind:
Such was I at unawares with you –
To strike with Master’s single chord that pounced and caught me blind –
Piano, how you lurched and rent me through!

Delightful music welcomed me to drift in quasi-syncope:
Soft tranquillo sought to rest my bones –
I glided reaching largo; sang with sweet cantabile, and
Forte let me in to louder tones.

I cried with lacrimoso; squirmed when agitato flared;
My hearing rang when fingers danced the trill.
And so it was, this maestro grand was genius declared –
Acting out in music for the thrill.

Translating pen to piano, this player takes me back thro’ time…
In the chamber, fine composers charm:
I watch the manic hands of Liszt abound with tunes sublime;
Mozart teased my mood with stark alarm.

Then entered Bach to demonstrate his mathematic flare,
Calculating notes supreme of form.
And I – the minion audience – sat wanting in my chair,
Having heard my idols all perform.

Did Darwin’s theory tell at all why Man evolved this way?
Why would music help him to survive?
But scientific muse had veered my thoughts from this display, and
Music called: ‘Just listen - you’re alive! ’

The maestro draws conclusion; lets the piano die a death
To stand as wood, inert just as before –
A pollished casket lined with keys, at calm from naught of breath,
Bade me scream: ‘Bravo! ’ and ‘Hail! Encore! ’

He wakes the box to dance again with noble works of art:
Resurrected; fully primed with zest.
Now even I was back to life with reason in my heart –
Heightened from the pounding in my chest.

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/the-piano-lurched/

Franz Joseph Haydn

Franz Joseph Haydn is best remembered for his symphonic music, honored by music historians who have dubbed him the "Father of the Symphony." That is a well-known fact. But did you know that Haydn worked his way from peasant to Kapellmeister where he lived in the house of a prince? Did you know that although Austria was his home, he traveled to London to write his most famous symphonies? Did you know that Haydn's oratorio "The Creation" grew out of his love of nature, as he was an avid hunter and fisherman? Or did you know that Haydn was mentor to a young music student by the name of Mozart?


These are the lesser-known facts, the parts of Haydn's life that allow us to peek inside a great man's legacy to see what made him tick. Haydn was indeed a self-made man. Born in the small village of Rohrau, Austria on March 31, 1732, Franz Joseph Haydn was the second of twelve children. His father was a wagon maker by trade, but quite musical. On Sundays, the Haydn family often gave private concerts. Haydn's father played the harp while Haydn and his mother sang. A cousin who was a schoolmaster recognized the five-year-old boy's talent and offered to take him into his school so that he could receive musical instruction. The food portions for the children were meager and Haydn himself said that "there was more flogging than food." Still, Haydn persevered, determined even as a young boy to maximize the opportunity and learn all that he could.

At the age of eight, Franz Joseph Haydn became a choirboy for the Viennese Cathedral. Again, the food was far less than what a growing youth needed and the choir children's treatment in general was harsh. Haydn stayed, learning all that he could about church music, until puberty changed the timbre of his voice and he was cast into the streets of Vienna with nothing more than a change of clothes. At the age of seventeen, Haydn found lodging and work. He gave music lessons and played in the serenades to earn money. An open door presented itself in the form of an Italian composer named Niccolo Porpora who hired Haydn as his accompanist. Haydn's status was that of a servant, but Porpora did adequately feed him - something he had not enjoyed at the school or the Cathedral - and taught him Italian, voice, and composition. Again, a positive-minded Haydn saw it as an opportunity.



With practice and performance, Haydn's musical prowess and fame grew with time. He was offered the position of Music Director for Count Morzin. From there, Haydn accepted employment with the Prince Paul Anton Esterhazy where he became the Vice-Kapellmeister and later Kapellmeister. His duties were intense, ranging from the administrative responsibilities associated with monitoring the needs of the musicians under him to himself composing music for orchestral, operatic, and chamber music performances. His response to the challenge was as it had always been - Haydn exhibited not only the stamina for that which was required of him, but the brilliance of creation that made his music famous. While in the employ of the Prince, Haydn composed eleven operas, sixty symphonies, five masses, thirty sonatas, one concerto, and hundreds of shorter pieces.


Haydn's positive attitude and sense of humor made him a favorite among musicians. Music students valued his knowledge and skill and considered it an honor to learn from him. One such musician was Mozart. Although Mozart was much younger than Haydn, the two men treated each other with a mutual respect reserved for the obviously gifted. Although Haydn openly opined Mozart as the more dramatic composer, his young counterpart looked to Papa Haydn as a mentor and the master of quartets.


Haydn's sense of humor often came into play during his thirty-year tenure with Prince Esterhazy. The prince had become complacent when listening to Haydn's symphonies, even falling asleep at the performances. This was something that seared the feelings of the diligent composer, especially when the prince emitted a loud snore during a part of the symphony over which Haydn had especially labored. Haydn decided to create a new symphony for the prince, a symphony that he hoped would "get Prince Esterhazy's attention." This particular symphony was written with a long slow movement, designed to be so soothing that the prince would surely fall asleep. On the evening of the performance, the prince did indeed drift off. Then, suddenly, a loud chord shattered the serenity of the murmuring movement. The prince awoke with a start and almost fell off his chair! Haydn adeptly gave the piece the name "Surprise Symphony."


On another occasion, Haydn was plagued by his musicians who were complaining that they were long overdue for vacations. He again faced the dilemma with ingenuity. Haydn composed a symphony during which the musicians' parts dropped off two by two. On the evening of the performance, Haydn saved this symphony as the last number, knowing that dusk would set in and the musicians would need to play the piece by candlelight. As each instrument's part finished, the musicians blew out their candles and left the stage until only Haydn was left. Prince Esterhazy got the message and sent everyone on vacation. Haydn named the piece "The Farewell Symphony."


When the prince for whom Haydn had served most of his career died, Haydn saw it as yet another opportunity. He packed his bags and traveled to London where he was employed by the entrepreneur J.P Salomon to compose symphonies. The demand for new music was incredible. Even at the age of sixty, Haydn's stamina was unquenchable and he produced perhaps his greatest work. Of these are the famous "London Symphonies."


After a return to Austria, Haydn turned to a new type of composition - the oratorio. He wrote "The Creation" and "The Seasons," both tributes to his love of nature and God. An enthusiastic hunter and fisherman and a man who considered his peace to come from God, it was not out of character for Haydn to turn to the topic, although the venture into a different music medium at such a late stage of his life might be considered unusual. Still, that was Haydn - never one to promote the usual.


Haydn died at the age of 77 on May 31, 1809. Elssler, Haydn's faithful servant, friend, and the chronicler of his works, wrote that Haydn passed from this world "quietly and peacefully," just as he had lived.


Haydn - a self-made man, remembered for his contribution to the symphony. But anecdotal studies of his life show he was also a man of optimism with an uncanny sense of humor. He was a mentor to other musicians and an untiring adventurer into almost every element of music.

http://www.essortment.com/all/franzjosephhay_rwml.htm

Franz Schubert

In some ways the work of Franz Schubert has always been overshadowed by the dominating presence of Beethoven. They were contemporaries in the same city of Vienna at the time of significant change in the development and shape of music. While Beethoven was comparatively well-known and well funded, and working towards a major revolution in musical expression, Schubert was younger, less well-known, under-funded and his innovations in musical expression were not so well recognised at the time. In many ways it was not until after his death that others started to recognise his genius. Some of his works were then published and performed for the first time, and gradually his talents became widely recognised. During his short lifetime the lack of widespread public awareness didn't seem to bother Schubert. His writings suggested a man who was driven to spend his time composing, and he relied instead on the feedback and support of a small circle of friends and admirers.

Franz Schubert belonged to a large family headed by his schoolmaster father. His father and a local teacher taught him music but his ability quickly exceed their standard. He joined the Imperial Court Chapel Choir as a boy soprano where he received further tuition, one of his teachers being the same Salieri who had been accused at one stage of poisoning Mozart (see the film "Amadeus" for more about this myth). When his voice broke he himself became a teacher and during this period he started to compose in earnest, eventually giving up teaching altogether so that he could devote even more time to his art. One of his brief teaching positions was to provide tuition to the daughters of Count Esterhazy in Hungary, for whose house Haydn had previously worked on a permanent basis. Physically Schubert was short and plump and short-sighted, and everything we know about him suggests that he was a quiet and private man. Although a skilled pianist and violinist, he was neither a virtuoso performer nor a flamboyant conductor who could promote his own work on the public stage. Many of his orchestra compositions were never performed publicly, and only his chamber music and songs were able to be performed in smaller social gatherings. The lack of significant publication and performance meant that his income was rather meagre.

Schubert was not completely devoid of supporters though. Over several years he gathered an intensely loyal group of associates who enjoyed his music and did what they could to support the young composer and promote his music. Firstly there was his brother who provided creative stimulation and possibly financial support. The baritone Johann Vogl grew very fond of Schubert's songs (of which he wrote some 600) and sang them on many occasions. In this way Schubert even managed to achieve a modest degree of success for his songs. This circle of friends included fellow musicians and socialites who attended get-togethers known as "Schubertiads" since they centred around the composer and his music. At times people helped to finance publication of some of his works and in this way, word of the composer did begin to spread. Schubert was a great admirer of Beethoven and is known to have visited him. When the great composer died, Schubert was a torch-bearer at his funeral. Unfortunately ill-health was to strike Schubert cruelly and he was soon to be buried very close to Beethoven. The younger composer had contacted Syphilis at one stage which was epidemic at the time, and just as he was beginning to take his music in new directions and achieve some modest recognition, he died of Typhoid Fever at the age of 31.

Schubert's music doesn't seem to be particularly influenced by Beethoven. Instead his style seems closer to the works of Haydn and Mozart. He was a prolific composer who sometimes even composed several songs per day. In all he completed more than 600 songs, and all of his music seems to be characterised by a certain tuneful lyricism. This could be lively and happy, or it could carry a certain wistfulness bordering on sadness. His songs are also notable for the strength of their piano accompaniment, which acts as an equal partner in the compositions, supporting the mood of the song with inventive phrases. Schubert's music also demonstrates certain novel techniques such as the juxtaposition of unusual chords and an ability to seemingly modulate with ease into any remote key. His symphonies were largely unknown to the general public in his lifetime, though they are now standards of the repertoire. The complete cycle depicts a growth in style and technique from the earlier Haydnesque ones up to the "Unfinished" 8th and the "Great" 9th. It may be that the 8th symphony was indeed finished and the final two movements have been lost. That has not diminished its standing in the music world, and those remaining two great movements demonstrate a unique talent for conveying emotion. Schubert also left a remarkable legacy of Chamber music, including several powerful String Quartets and Piano Sonatas. With some help from his brother, Schubert's works were later discovered by Schumann and Mendelssohn who were instrumental in their achieving a wider recognition. Some of the symphonies were similarly discovered much later by George Grove and Arthur Sullivan.

http://www.mfiles.co.uk/composers/Franz-Schubert.htm

Robert Schumann

Robert Schumann was born 8 June, 1810 in Zwickau, Germany. He was the son of a book publisher and writer. As a child, Robert Schumann showed early abilities in both music and literature, but was not considered a prodigy by any means. At sixteen, after the tragic deaths of his sister and father, he was sent to the University of Leipzig at his mother's insistence. He studied law there until he was able to convince his mother of his need to study music.

In Leipzig, from 1830, he worked under the renowned piano teacher Friedrich Wieck, whose favourite daughter, Clara, was already a well-known piano prodigy. It is thought that Schumann and Clara were lovers by 1835. His own ambitions as a pianist were hampered by a weakness in the fingers of one hand (possibly caused by they syphilis that would later claim his sanity), but the 1830s nevertheless brought a number of marvellous compositions for the instrument.

Robert Schumann's work is noted for its links to literature. Many of his compositions allude to characters or scenes from poems, novels, and plays; others are like musical crossword puzzles with key signatures or musical themes that refer to people or places important to him. This intimate relationship with the written word gives his music an extra dimension. At the same time, its sheer joyfulness ranks it among the best loved music of the age.

Schumann was not only interested in literature, he was also a working journalist who edited his own influential musical magazine, the Neue Zeitsfchrift fur Musik. This put Schumann in a unique position: his music was often inspired by the world of words, while his work as writer and critic kept him in touch with the Romantic musical scene at large. Through his music journal he helped to bring the young Chopin and, later, the young Brahms to the attention of the German-speaking public.

Schumann's courtship of and marriage to Clara Wieck is one of the most famous romances in music history. Clara's father was one of Schumann's piano teachers. He predicted a great future for his pupil, but he fiercely opposed the young man's request to marry his daughter. He not only disapproved of Schumann's drinking, he also wanted Clara to become a famous pianist in her own right. For years Friedrich did everything he could to keep Schumann and Clara apart. Schumann eventually took Wieck to court and obtained permission to marry her, but it had been a long and bitter struggle.

Overall, Robert Schumann's early piano compositions, many of which were played by his wife Clara, are the most original and daring of his works. As a composer, he tended to concentrate on one type of music at a time. For instance, his songs qualify him as a worthy successor to Schubert. And while his great orchestral works remain closer to the traditional Classical forms of Haydn, Mozart, and Beethoven, he is regarded as a talented, but not masterful. Nor was he successful as a composer of operas. It is in his piano music and his songs - Carnival ("Dainty Scenes on Four Notes") in particular - that he accomplished his greatest work.

In 1850 Schumann was appointed Music Director to the city of Dusseldorf, where he enjoyed no great success. Suffering from hallucinations and rapidly declining mental facilities, he resigned in 1853. Mounting fears of insanity plunged Schumann into a serious mental break-down, and in 1854 he attempted suicide by throwing himself into the Rhine. He was then confined to an asylum at Endenich, where he remained until his death on 29 July, 1856.

Frédéric François Chopin

Frédéric François Chopin was born in Zelazowa Wola (near Warsaw, Poland) on March 1, 1810 (or on February 22, according to his baptismal certificate). He was born into a small family of a French father, Nicolas Chopin, and of a Polish mother, Tekla Justyna Krzyzanowska. He showed great admiration for the piano at a very young age, and he composed two polonaises (Polish dances) at the age of seven years. At the same time, he gave concert performances to impressed audiences and, being humble, stated that the public was admiring the collar of his shirt.

He began his studies with violinist Wojciech Zywny in 1816. As he soon acquired greater skill than that of his teacher, he continued his studies at the Warsaw Conservatory, under the tutelage of Wilhelm Wurfel. At the age of 15 years, he published his first work (Rondo, op. 1). At 16, he began to study harmony, theory, figured bass and composition with Jozef Elsner, a Silesian composer who taught at the Conservatory.

In early 1829, Chopin performed in Vienna, where he was received with several optimistic reviews. The next year, he returned to his homeland and performed the premiere of his piano concerto in F minor, at the National Theatre on March 17. After these travels, Chopin decided to move to Paris, in order to eschew the volatile political situation back home. On the road, he learned that the Russians had captured Warsaw, and he composed the great “Revolutionary Etude,” in reaction thereto. Once in Paris, he began working on his first ballade (Op. 23) and scherzo (Op. 20), as well as his first etudes (Op. 10). It is also at this time that he began his unfortunate struggle with Tuberculosis.

In France, Chopin had the opportunity to acquaint himself with his contemporaries who were also participants of the Romantic Revolution in Paris. Among them were Liszt, Berlioz, Meyerbeer, Bellini, Balzac, Heine, Victor Hugo and Schumann. Reluctantly, the introvert expanded his horizons and made many lasting friendships. He also came across the friend of Liszt’s mistress, the French author best known by her pseudonym, George Sand. When they met, she was 34 and he was 28. Madame Sand was courageous and domineering: her need to dominate found its counterpart in Chopin’s need to be led. She left a memorable description of the composer at work:

His creative work was spontaneous, miraculous. It came to him without effort or warning... But then began the most heartrending labour I have ever witnessed. It was a series of attempts, of fits of irresolution and impatience to recover certain details. He would shut himself in his room for days, pacing up and down, breaking his pens, repeating and modifying one bar a hundred times.

The 1830s in Paris proved to be a progressive and productive time for Chopin. He completed some of his most popular works and performed regular concerts, receiving fantastic reviews. However, Chopin was not in favour of public performance; he therefore imposed a constant demand of himself as a composer and as a teacher. He was demanded in the Parisian salons, and he played less reluctantly under these circumstances.

Madame Sand shared the gelid winter of 1838-9 with Chopin. They stayed in an unheated peasant hut and in the Valldemossa Monastery. Chopin encountered many difficulties in acquiring a piano from Paris in these parts. Much of this miserable and desperate time is depicted in his 24 preludes (Op. 28), which were composed during this time. Due to the terrible conditions—and Chopin’s unpleasant reaction thereto—he and Madame Sand returned to Paris.

During the following eight years, Chopin spent his summers at Sand’s estate in Nohant. It is in this location that she entertained some of France’s most prominent artists and writers. Unfortunately, the couple’s happiness was relatively short-lived, and they shifted from love to conflict. Their intense relationship ended two years before Chopin’s death, in 1847. Sand had begun to suspect that Chopin had fallen in love with her daughter, Solange; they parted in rancour. One of Chopin’s best friends, Franz Liszt, stated that Chopin once declared that, in ending this long affection, he had ruined his life. Once found in his later letters: “What has become of my art? And my heart, where have I wasted it?”

On an interesting personal note, Chopin once stated that he had never been attracted to Sand. “Something about her repels me,” said he to his family. Moreover, Sand once suggested in her correspondence that Chopin was asexual; that is, he had no inclination to have sexual relations with anyone, male or female.

On October 17, 1849, tuberculosis ended the life of a young genius. At the age of 39, Chopin passed away, blessing us with no further melodies or harmonies. Thousands joined together to attend his funeral and to pay him homage. His funeral was held at the Church of the Madeleine, and he was buried at the Père Lachaise Cemetery in Paris. His heart was entombed at the Church of the Holy Cross in Poland, and Polish soil was sprinkled over his tomb in France, as he had requested.

Every year, many inspired tourists visit Chopin’s grave to pay their respects. To this date, his music has been performed and recorded very frequently. The Composer of Poland is known as one of the best composers of the Romantic period; ironically, he did not consider himself of this group. He was the Poet of the Piano, and the intense expression and emotion present in his music is the cause of this common belief. Anyhow, his music has fuelled the inspiration of millions of musicians and will certainly continue to do so for quite some time.

http://www.chopinmusic.net/biographies/chopin/