The Me Before

Every child has his or her own story on how they matured, learned life's lessons, and got to know the hardships of growing up. There are the "easy ways" and the "hard ways". I myself would honestly say that i tracked down the "hard way" of growing up. Your brains and your talents count as nothing when people try to label you as the imperfectly molded person in terms of physique and beauty. It is still vaguely clear in my mind the times when they pull you down and let you feel your worthlessness. Those cruel words that sounded like as a joke to them but never did they know that it had already placed a big impact to you and pierced your heart a million times. The feeling that people consider that you don't exist in the world that both of you place your roles in. Yeah, it was hard and I'm still carrying the after effects of it.

It got worse when i turned highschool. Compared to my elementary years, only my classmates made me feel sad and lonely but during highschool, the teachers not only ignored me but also criticized my well being verbally. My confidence dropped to a negative, my courage turned icy cold in a freezing environment that i considered "The Dark Age". But, humans as we are, we cope. I tried to mask a happy persona while in fact what i was feeling was the complete opposite of it. Then one day, I decided to change myself and salvage what was left pure in me. I tried a lot of ways! Inch by inch, I cracked the shell that was covering my total self. Inch by inch, I crawled out, greeted the new beginning of my world and proudly said, "I did it."

 

Now, I'm already 19 years old and currently finishing my degree in College. I can say that I changed a lot compared to what I was 8 years ago. I changed for the better and not for the worse. I'm happy as to what i have attained right now and was happy that i made the right decision to step a foot forward. But whenever someone destroys the fragile equilibrium that i constantly hold, I turn to someone whom my acquaintances knew too well, the ME before.